Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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