didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
