You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dignity is for republicans.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
