Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
