I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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