he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
