I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
