i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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