They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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