I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
