is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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