I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
do herpes really smell.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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