hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just cut my nipple shaving
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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