You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
