That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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