she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
