well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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