Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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