it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize