I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
