Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
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