girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
