I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
