office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
