Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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