he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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