eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
