If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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