I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
