if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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