She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize