At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
