lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
