the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
