is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
