I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
