Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My pussy is not your playground.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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