Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
