Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Houston, we have a squirter
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize