i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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