butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
