how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She swung at the pinata with crutches
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
