About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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