is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize