Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize