I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
