Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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