i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
