Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
