I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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