SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i dont even know how to be here
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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