Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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