i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
