I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
