he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
