i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize