I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize