the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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