tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
