He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
