Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
